Saturday, October 29, 2011

I can do this.

I'm going to get through this break up one day at a time. It might tell a hell of a lot of baking, ice cream, and a lot of tears but I can do this and I can put myself back together. I'm going to come out of this stronger than ever and I hope someday you realize I tried my hardest to give you my everything even if at times it was hard for me. I'm a good person and I know I deserve happiness and maybe I wasn't meant to have it with you, who knows? I'm gonna hold my head up and get through this in one piece. I have the help of many supportive people who have been great to me so far already and if there's anything I have to say thank you to you for it's for them because without you I would have never met them I love the ladies of Airman Swag. <3

Friday, October 14, 2011

It's never easy.

Yeah, I'm your typical woman. I worry about all the things that other woman worry about one of those things being my weight. Recently it's become even more of an issue for me. I have never been over 125 lbs in my life and that's healthy for me. I have always stayed between usually 110 and 120. The last time I weighed myself which just so happened to be today the scale read a 7 pound increase and for me panic mode immediately set in.  I have always been the healthy girl who could wear the same clothes for years and now I've noticed my clothes have gotten tighter, hell even one of my residents at my job has made snide and rude comments saying I've gotten "fat" even though I know I'm not. It just sucks because even if I try to hide it I am extremely self conscious and if I don't feel like i look good in the eyes of others I don't feel good on the inside and my whole entire day is just spent in a bad mood. I'm going to start doing all I can to get myself healthy and happy and back into my comfort zone!

On the bright side though I've found something to help take up some time that I spend eating because believe it or not I realize that I eat A LOT. I've taken on the opportunity to support two of our country's military personal who are serving our country overseas. I will possibly and eventually take on more depending on how it works out. Doing this for them and seeing how many people are willing to help makes me feel so much better about myself. It makes me feel like I am doing something for the greater good to help others.